Bird on a Wire (1990)

I love Bird on a Wire. It's smart, it's fun and exciting, it's free, and it's a beautiful thrilling adventure. I love the Bird on a Wire song. Bird on a Wire is not an action oriented action movie, it's more a romance, and I love it for it's love story. It's like straight out of the pages of your favorite romantic novel with a pair of super sexy stars all happening in this raw and intense bang-bang action world!The way that Mel Gibson and Goldie Hawn are on the lam in Bird on a Wire, are always on the run and constantly in danger, it's like a sexy fantasy getaway to get lost in, a major turn on. Goldie Hawn is a major turn on, my God. She's the sexiest! Mel Gibson and Goldie Hawn are the absolute hottest in Bird on a Wire, and these two hot stars determine the show, believe me! They share their one of a kind flirtatious attraction for the viewing so that the two come off as incredibly irresistible. Goldie Hawn flashes her butt so much in Bird on a Wire, I think I might want to see it again. Mel Gibson manages his way into his undies enough times, too, so don't worry, lady viewers, there's plenty of sexy to go round!Bird on a Wire is one real and one sexy romance that's all dressed up as a deadly crime drama, and that's kind of why it can sometimes be misinterpreted. Bird on a Wire is a beautiful love story. It's best to enjoy this movie for the steamy romance relationship between the two main stars, Goldie Hawn and Mel Gibson. I know I did. I love you Goldie Hawn, and Mel Gibson. You're beautiful!'Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk in a midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free.'

Some movies followed the same routine over and over again. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it doesn't. And Bird on a Wire doesn't worked. With a cast that has two of the most attractive movie stars leading, it just didn't worked entirely for me. Bird on a Wire stars Mel Gibson as a retired FBI informant who is working as a car mechanic, staying away from all of the operations that he had to be part of in the past. One night, a lawyer, played by Goldie Hawn, enters Gibson's gas station and recognizes him after 15 years. Hawn learns that Gibson is hiding from the bad guys that were chasing and they eventually show up to kill him. Pretty ironic that you meet your old flame and your old enemies at the wrong place at the wrong time. When Gibson and Hawn go on the run after the bad guys pinpointed their position after founding where Gibson has been hiding out in Hawn's apartment, the movie turns into a chase, with Hawn and Gibson being chased through the streets of Detroit and even in the air with a crop-duster. Now, that is a cliché in movies that doesn't work. It seems to me that Bird on a Wire burrowed other elements from other movies. Basically, the movie that I thought of while watching Bird on a Wire was Romancing the Stone because at the end of this movie, the final confrontation takes place in a zoo, full of wild animals. That kind of setting brings out the adventure in the movie beside the crop-duster scene. As for the performances in the movie, Mel Gibson can be better in the Lethal Weapon movies and in the Mad Max movies because when he does star in the Lethal Weapon movies, he brings out a sense of style with his character. Here, there is no style at all. Goldie Hawn, I thought, was not appealing as Gibson's lover. She sort of goes into a Private Benjamin character. Another thing I couldn't understand is why did they have to show endless, gratuitous shots of Goldie Hawn's butt? I mean, what's the point of that? Their chemistry together don't work. I can tell this because this couple bicker and banter throughout this movie. That get aggravating for awhile. Bird on a Wire isn't exciting, isn't funny and surely, isn't that all thrilling. ★★ 2 stars.

Summer crowd-pleasers rarely aspire to anything more than big box office returns, but this feather-brained comedy adventure is appallingly unfunny even by its own bubblegum standards. It's less a film than a two hour package of ads for, among other products: Coca Cola, Evian mineral water, Pennzoil, the Four Seasons hotel chain, the almighty MasterCard and, of course, Mel Gibson's bare bottom, a source of awestruck admiration in at least two scenes and also the subject of one hairy close-up. It could have been worse: when the film isn't glorifying his butt it's praising another, presumably well endowed, feature of his anatomy. Never mind the sad excuse for a story; salespersons Gibson and Hawn are merely paid to meander through a series of routine chases, witless dialogue exchanges, and predictable romantic interludes, unburdened by any semblance of character, and with no chemistry between them in any case. The film is condescending (if not downright insulting) to Orientals, homosexuals, wild animals, women, the homeless, and of course anyone gullible enough to waste money seeing it.

Beats me why so many people want to trash this action-packed screwball romantic comedy-chase thriller. Instead of comparing it to other Mel Gibson and Goldie Hawn films, I compare it to basically similar type films, such as "What's Up Doc?", "Smokey and the Bandit", "High Road to China", "The Big Steal"(perhaps the granddaddy of this type of film) and, more recently, some of the Jackie Chan films. The stunts have gotten much wilder and more numerous in recent decades, including in this film. I love both Goldie Hawn and Mel Gibson as actors, and to have them together in this type of film is just great.Gibson gets things started with a scary practical joke on his coworker. Goldie, a divorced lawyer, happens to drive into the gas station where Gibson is working and thinks she recognizes her almost husband of 15 years ago. He seemingly convinces her she is mistaken, being embarrassed about the circumstances of his sudden disappearance. Goldie returns in the evening to spy on him from across the street. Apparently, she intended to follow his car home, but instead witnesses a confrontation with 2 men intent on killing him. The assailants accidentally kill his coworker. Gibson manages to burst out of the garage in a car, but it is soon wrecked. He sees Goldie and pleads that she let him in her car, acknowledging that he is who she thinks he is. As the station explodes in a fireball, they drive off in a hail of bullets, with a murder charge soon to be filed against them. They're off to the races! Sound promising?