Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys (2014)

Just seen this movie on Pick TV channel.Well, I was entertained but just not in the way that was intended... Or was it?Honestly, everything about this movie is atrocious. Literally EVERYTHING.But despite that, I watched the whole thing. Why? Because I can only assume it was filmed on a shoestring budget and presumably without a script or any any idea about continuity or without considering if the cast could act - everyone could have a go at acting. Lovely. They even went to the trouble of hiring people with zero sense of balance as at every opportunity people would run up to water or places in general with the Lampreys in the vicinity and just fall over.Honestly I don't want to go into detail as it's not really worth the effort but if you like awful movies which waste an hour and a half of your life then this is worth a go.

This movie is listed as a horror movie here on IMDb. Seriously? There is nothing scary about this movie unless you are a child perhaps. WHen that is said, I will say that "Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys" is actually enjoyable enough for what it turned out to be."Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys" is a predictable movie and it follows a very mainstream and often used recipe for making a creature feature. However it does have some very unlikely killer creatures; lampreys.The storyline is so predictable that even a blind man could see what's coming next. But still, it is just one of those guilty pleasures. You know, a movie so generic that it is actually still fun.The lampreys were nicely enough animated most of the time, but a couple of lampreys being able to kill a full-grown adult in mere seconds? Nah, I don't buy into that at all.The two names to lure in the audience are of course Shannen Doherty and Christopher Lloyd, and they were not even the leading stars. The most memorable scene in "Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys" was the death scene of the mayor, which just happens to be played by Christopher Lloyd, or perhaps even the scene with the screaming lampreys in the burn scene.Well, you know what you are essentially in for when sitting down to watch a movie like this, and "Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys" doesn't fail to deliver. It is by every possible manner a mediocre killer creature feature.

As someone who grew up watching good monster flicks, it kills me to see what has happened to the genre over the years, what with the crappy CGI and lack of effort from everyone involved. Sadly instead of getting better, things just keep on getting worse as demonstrated by the recent "Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys". Airing on Animal Planet (Animal Planet? What the hell!!!) it presents your run of the mill nature gone wild story when more aggressive than normal blood sucking lampreys (scary, real-life snake like fish) invade a lake near a small town in Michigan. Now in the right hands, this may have ended up being some what of a decent flick. Unfortunately, it becomes a prime example of bad movie making without the so bad it's good quality. A big problem with the film is that there is not a single ounce of tension to be found anywhere. Instead, people just die violent deaths and you end up with something more disgusting than scary. Second, the special effects, (if you can call them that!) would make even the crappiest effects from fifty years ago look spectacular in comparison. But perhaps the biggest reason why the film fails is the lack of care from the actors. In the old days, when actors did monster flicks they undoubtedly knew they weren't doing Shakespeare. But that didn't stop them from giving everything they had to the part and as a result, even a cheap grade B movie could end up being something memorable. Here, you can just tell the actors' hearts just aren't in it. Even Christopher Lloyd (Yes, that Christopher Lloyd!) fails to give his usual eccentric, bigger than life performance. Then again, looking at what he has to work with, I can't say I blame him and the same would probably go to all the other actors involved. If Animal Planet wants to have its own drama shows, then maybe they should bring back productions like "Lost Tapes". It may have been a bit of a rip off of "The Blair Witch Project", but at least the people involved there gave a damn about what they were doing. I could go on but you get the point. My best advice to you is to avoid this film at all costs and as for the actors involved, disavow and deny that you had any part in this disaster what so ever!!

Starring Shannen Doherty (Beverly Hills 90210), Christopher Lloyd (Back to the Future) and Jason Brooks (Days of Our Lives), Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys is directed by James Cullen Bressack (Hate Crime, Pernicious) and sees the cast battle lampreys – eel-like fish with huge teeth and funnel-shaped mouths – after they slide their way into the city's sewer system and start terrorizing the residents of a small Michigan town. Brooks plays Michael, a fish and wildlife expert who moves to the town with his wife, Cate (Doherty), after being summoned by the town mayor, Akerman (Lloyd), to help deal with its attacking fish problem. River Monsters star Jeremy Wade also makes a cameo. But with these blood-suckers on the loose, the town's residents quickly learn that a casual dip in the pool or routine trip to the toilet can turn deadly as the lampreys hunt for their next victim.