Hard Breakers (2011)

Written and directed with all the style of a wretchedly unfunny sitcom on the CW or its predecessors, the WB and UPN, Hard Breakers sets a new low in product placement by prominently displaying an infomercial in one scene. Fortunately, this movie is so thoroughly terrible that such a crass move fits in perfectly with the crippled plotting, abortive characterizations and leaden comedy. And by leaden comedy, I mean they don't just rely on stereotypical gay jokes in 2010. They use the same gag of the main characters not knowing they're in a gay-oriented business twice. Sophie Monk also embarrasses herself here with weak acting and weaker mugging for the camera. And director Leah Sturgis reveals that she has as much imagination as the average catfish by repeating the exact same establishing shot over and over and over again. This is just a pitiful effort.Alexis (Cameron Richardson) and Lindsay (Sophie Monk) are friends who hang out at their beach house and complain about men. They eventually hit upon the idea of knocking men unconscious and taking them back to their place, with the idea that the men will revive, have sex with them and then leave. Shockingly, that plan doesn't work out so well and then Alexis gets tied up by this absurd movie producer (Chris Kattan) and must be rescued by her neglectful father, Lindsey and Alexis' stalker ex-boyfriend. That's really all of Hard Breakers' story guck I can stand to repeat.Firstly, Sophie Monk does take her top off in this film but if you blink, you'll miss it. Cameron Richardson doesn't get naked, but some poor actress flashes her boobs in a depressing moment. I'm not one to complain about gratuitous nudity but this almost slapped me in the face with how cheaply exploitative it was. There's really not a lot of bad language here and the humor isn't even that crude. So if you're looking for raunch, keep looking.It's difficult to even tear into this disaster as hard as it deserves because the whole production is so pathetic it feels like kicking a retarded puppy. Co-writers Sturgis and Elaine Fogg make so many elementary mistakes with their script and their writing is so unintentionally awkward that I feel more sorrow than anger toward them. Watching this motion picture is like watching a kid trying to ride their bike for the first time without training wheels and seeing them crash every 5 feet. Someone should have stepped in and stopped the production like a boxing referee protecting a fighter that's being beaten to death. I can't imagine anyone in Hollywood seeing Hard Breakers and then hiring Sturgis and Fogg as dog walkers, let alone for any cinema-related job.This fiasco is not funny. It's not sexy. It's not outrageous. It barely makes any logical sense. Avoid Hard Breakers like it has an incurable venereal disease.

"My emotionally crippling father has nothing to do with the fact that I knock guys over the head and have sex with them." Two girls, Alexis (Richardson) & Lindsay (Monk) are single and living in Los Angeles. They have a hard time finding dates and after failure after failure they decide to change their approach. They walk around, see someone that looks cute and knock them out, when they wake up in the girls house the date begins. Every once in a while it is nice to just sit back and relax watching a movie that you don't have to think about. Like most of this type of movie they try to put a deep emotional plot in it without realizing that there is only one reason that people will want to watch. This is another movie where the plot isn't needed and you can just put in and veg out to. Sometimes those movies are needed after watching some emotional ones. All that said this is a movie about two hot blondes who have problems (?) getting dates. Think the "Sweetest Thing" but more of a "USA up-all night" version. After all this you are probably wondering one thing and no...there isn't really that much nudity in this. Overall, if you want a movie you don't have to think about and just watch you could do worse. I give it a C.

I usually don't write reviews but after watching this movie, I had to mention how bad this movie was and so registered into IMDb and am now writing this review. This movie makes me feel like I've just lost 2 hours of my life and trust me, I've seen bad movies. Anyways, there is no storyline, the scenes change haphazardly and the script is incoherent. The only tolerable part of this movie are the eye-candies in the form of the 2 lead actresses but you are bound to get bored after a while looking at their bodies, and awful acting. Don't want to be too harsh on them but they should have seriously gotten their brains checked before accepting this movie. And what is a talented actor like Tom Arnold doing in this movie? Seriously, was he threatened to act in this movie or what? I wouldn't recommend this movie even if this is the last movie on Earth. Go play ball instead.

This video is totally awesome! I find it cool and interesting. I thought it would just be another American Pie movie. But i enjoyed it more rather than American Pie. I love the part where the girl would find her real match. Someone who can make her a better person. Someone who can change her. That's what every girls' dream. To find the right guy for her. Someone who can correct all the wrongs in her life. And I love the friendship they build in this movie. Having your best friend with you thru thick or thin is the best things in life. And being with her all the time is the great time of my life. It was totally fun! I appreciated this movie well.