Sharks in Venice (2008)

This was the worst movie i have ever seen in my entire life. The cover is pretty cool, gives a really different view of shark attacks. But the rest of the movie was bad. Real bad. The worst part was the two ''drunken'' people by the stairs, and the shark who jumped 10 meter out of the water to grab them both. It is magical how he grabbed the girl, because in the amazing special effect, i only saw the boy screaming for his live.Also the parts when the 'discovery channel' shark came to kill everybody, i was looking at the Atlantic ocean, complete with sea-gulls.And the best part of all:D : Every time the killer shark is coming, you see a swarm of tropical fish near him. Fish who only lives on 20 meters of depth. -_-.If they had put more sharks in the movie instead of thugs in black, the movie was maybe a little bit better.Even for a low budget movie it was terrible.

Oh my god... I'm lost for words.. it was that good!!! I wish they just use the funds to grant aspiring film makers who can make a better film with less than a grand! That would've been much more productive than making this comedy piece. Oh wait, it's meant to be a thriller? Anyways, it seems that words are coming back to me again, omg... wait a second.. those nipples!!! I'm lost for words again!!! --edit-- I can't even publish this with less than 10 lines, but what if it doesn't need 10 lines to describe it? Anyways, I'm just going to rattle about the amazing acting, dying, facial expressions, CGI shark that happens to bite everyone else and kills them but for some reason Baldwin is invincible.. super healing powers. wow... wait, why is Laura's blouse just as see-through as Baldwin's??? is this meant to attract more audience?? I can see her nipples too through the bra! nipples! eek! OK enough --edit--

Let's get the formalities over with – this is a film starring Stephen Baldwin and some other people who must have been bribed about a group of divers who are trying to find some treasure in the waters of Venice. What they find instead is a great white shark which rips a few of them apart. The Mafia are involved somehow, so that results in some gunfights and someone getting dragged off the street in full view of a public seemingly too bored – sorry, scared to intervene. They find the treasure, the Mafia wants it, the shark gets away.Thank God that's over. Something in this made me laugh so much it hurt. During the diving expeditions, the divers are talking to each other as if over radios. This would be fine if they didn't all have whacking great regulators shoved in their mouths, making it impossible to move their lips. Once you've noticed this it all falls apart, and you'll notice it very quickly. Trouble is, you'll notice a huge list of other things as well, namely:* The terrible acting* The terrible script* The terrible Italian accents* The terrible plot* The terrible shark attacks* The terrible extras* Editing that makes the film look like it was pieced together from a Venice Tourist Board video, the out-takes from Jaws, and a film about Boating For Fun and ProfitThe truth is that many viewers won't get past the first twenty minutes, but for those who do another hour of complete tripe awaits. I found that the best way of passing the time was to create the Observer's Book of Bad Extras, and I encourage you to give yourself a tick for spotting the following:* The hotel doorman who looks at the production crew just after his five seconds of outrageously poor acting* The two men sitting absolutely stock-still in a police station clearly wondering whether they should be moving* The men in a café who don't notice when a someone runs through the room and falls into some boxes right behind them* The policeman who takes a bullet and falls to the floor without a wince of pain* The man with a newspaper who continues to read it as the Mafia kidnap someone directly in front of him* The guy bartering in the market who watches the camera approachingThere's also the moment when the treasure is discovered, which, along with the rest of the scene leading up to it, is like a particularly poor Disney sequence. The rest of it is a cross between James Bond, The Mummy, and Wildlife on One. That is, the stuff from James Bond, The Mummy and Wildlife on One that ended up on the cutting room floor. During the 'climax', which is a lot of gunfire and some police boats, the 'eclectic' soundtrack excels itself by breaking into a jolly piratey-type theme and then something that rivals Psycho for violin-related insanity.As for the sharks, there are a lot of blurry, dark moments and copious amounts of red colouring to prove that they couldn't get one.The extras amount to a short making-of and the theatrical trailer, both of which highlight a film taking itself and its value far too seriously. This is Jaws for people who have had a frontal lobotomy.www.denofgeek.com

Apart from the technical blunders, this film is really rewriting history. Not only did the Medici rule over Venice, as some people have pointed out. Some other groundbreaking discoveries made by Dr. Stephen "Indiana" Baldwin:King Louis XIV. (1638-1715) was a 13th century crusader. 17-year-old Marco Polo had a fleet of his own and was, also, a crusader. In 1271, crusaders conquered Crete (fiercely ignoring the fact that the island had been under Venetian rule for almost 70 years).Solomo's hoard was brought to Venice on a galleon called "Stout", three centuries before this kind of ship was developed. - And finallya hidden truth only for those lucky enough to listen to the German audio track: the "Stout" wasn't a galleon after all, but a "balloon" (listen to it closely!) - five hundred years before the Montgolfiers!