Teenage Caveman (2002)

This is rubbish in the extreme; there's nothing positive that can be said about this disgusting effort at movie-making. It is truly moronic.

If I say Larry Clark directed this then you should know by now that it would be a controversial flick. And when I am saying that Tiffany Limos is playing in it then you know that it will contain nudity. Larry is best known for Ken Park, his most popular flick due the fact that a kid goes lickety-split with his friend's mother. Teenage caveman was made the same year as Ken Park but was made for television.But if you see the cover of Ken Park then you know what you will have but seeing the cover of Teenage Caveman you think you will have a creature feature. Wrong. It contains a lot of nudity and has a bit of horror in it. To see the horror be sure to have the full uncut because otherwise you will miss the decapitation and other bloody shots. You can see that the bloody scene's were taken from a VHS and edited back in again, it's a whole other quality.The actors in this sexploitation are mostly unknown except for Andrew Keegan and Tara Subkoff. The others had their 15 minutes of fame around 2002 and most of them stopped being in the business around 2005-2006. One of the actors (Richard Hillman) even died in 2009. It is really a cheesy flick because the 'monster' only appears in the last 10 minutes. But it all looks so ridiculous. The nudity is so gratuitous and all girls do show their wobbling juggs and they are all the real stuff, no fake tits here! The whole story is just a drivel, but naturally if you liked Ken Park and want to see another Larry Clark then you surely must watch it.Gore 2/5 Nudity 3/5 Effects 2/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 1/5

In a post-apocalyptic society, a tribe with a few survivors lives in caves with an abusive religious leader. When he was raping the teenager Sarah (Tara Subkoff), his son David (Andrew Keegan) kills him and is sentenced to death, tied to a pole. However, Sarah and David friends decide to release him and leave the caves. They find a destroyed city, and in the middle of a storm they are rescued by two locals, Elizabeth (Crystal Grant) and Neil (Richard Hillman). The couple of survivors introduce the teenagers to sex, drug, beverages and clothing and sooner they find that Neil is a genetic experiment of a new breed of predators, and Elizabeth was modified by his semen."Teenage Caveman" is simply an awful low-budget movie. The story is illogical, does not make any sense, and most of the scenes are cheap exploitation of the nudity of the cast and not engaging. The group of youngster comes from a primal society, and in a couple of hours, they have the behavior of teenagers of First World, inclusive knowing how to sabotage a Jeep. The sex scenes are not exciting, even with nudity and gang bang. Richard Hillman has an absolutely exaggerated performance and most of the cast has unconvincing acting. Some discussions about "Teenage Caveman" in the Message Board are hilarious and the best I saw about this crap. My vote is two.Title (Brazil): "Além da Escuridão" ("Beyond Darkness")

This film feels like a big group of guys got together and said "let's make a movie!" Some of them wanted to make a sci-fi movie, some of them wanted to make a horror/action flick, some of them wanted to make a "Lord of the Flies"-esquire statement about the nature of man in his natural habitat, and some of them wanted to make a porn. Since they couldn't decide on just one type of movie, they decided to try and cram it all together - however each genre is so shoddily done that they all fail. The terrible special effects were rivaled only by the terrible acting, which was topped by the skin-crawling bad script. I watched this movie for three reasons: first, I couldn't believe it was really THAT terrible (it thought it had to get better at some point). Second, I've seen Andrew Keegan act, so I know he can and thus kept expecting him to at some point. And to be honest, the guy who plays Neil is pretty attractive. (You're stooping pretty low when the only redeeming fact you can find in a movie is that the actors were pretty.) It's amazing that hundreds of people can work on the creative end of a movie, and yet productions like Teenage Caveman still get made.