Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft (1999)

The diastrous Witchcraft franchise gets picked up by the Brits, but can they turn this embarassing series around? Hell no.The english studio makes the same mistakes. Excess t&a, messy sfx, nonsensical plot and laughable acting.Thankfully Willy warlock is left back in the US but we do have one of the regular agents cross the pond.Warlocks, vampires, witches and stupidity. Yes folks this really is part ten!The Good:NopeThe Bad:Poor sound balancingEmily Booth really is a terrible actressDreadful castThings I Learnt From This Movie:Stakes pierce hearts but not clothesThis franchise doesn't know when to die

Yeah i saw the rough cuts. The unedited sex scenes. The dire cut scenes. Almost on a par with the film 'The Need' for awful acting. This movie is as bad as bad films get.the bad script, bad acting, bad effects, bad locations, bad stunts bad everything. The best 'actors' in the film were the lap dancers they hired for the vampire extras!Sean Harry, the 'foppish actor' as someone else put it, makes a matchstick look talented here. His amazing ability to badly drive a car, when it is obviously being shook by people on the bonnet (check out the reflection in the windscreen), his inability to turn left, which is class. OH and don't forget the sex scene. plus his noteworthy use of a toy gun which the props guys couldn't even be bothered to disguise as a real gun. The other actors on screen could barely deliver their lines.It was as if half the time they were waiting for a line that wasn't there!The 'special effects' were soooo good to the point that the guys who did it took their real names off the credits!If you want a laugh at a party then rent this movie...then again there are plenty of good comedies that are just as funny and don't give money to people who don't deserve it.

Generally I like horror movies, but unfortunately this fell out of the one pound bargain bin into my friends hand. We sat down to watch it, ready to be scared and ended up spraying food everywhere we were laughing so much. The concept isn't that bad, but why they decided number ten in the series would be lucky I don't know. The worst thing about the movie is the actors. The camera work was poor, the special effects are actually not bad if I am being generous, but overall the story failed to connect on any levels because the actors were as effective as a small lump of badly charred elm. They were wooden beyond measure, especially a foppish young actor who was fifteen years too young to be taken seriously as any kind of government agent. He looked more like a public school boy in fact. There was a really amusing sex scene where he looked like he was bobbing for apples as a busty lady rode on top of him and later his nappy sized underpants were hysterical, but then I remembered it wasn't supposed to be a comedy. I'm desperately wracking my brain to find something positive to say about this movie apart from the occasional flash of breasts, but there simply isn't. Let's hope ten was the lucky number and they don't do another one, I'm not sure my ribs could take it.

Well what can I say about this movie! Let's see! STEPHANIE BEATON!!!!! My god!!! Never before has a cop looked so good!!! With her shirt tied and her breasts hanging out! Anyways, let's talk about the movie. Despite the fact the fight scenes are badly choreographed. Which, I thought was the funniest thing about the movie! And then there's Eileen Daly. God! This woman could make you urinate your pants at the sight of her acting! Oh! this has got to be the funniest line in the movie. I forgot the character's name so I'm just going to put guy, ok?Guy: Maybe...if we had time...we could torture her...to death!When I heard that line my friend and I bursted out laughing and couldn't stop! This is such a great schlock-fest! Watch and laugh yourself silly!!Don't forget the staking! You can tell where they used dummies! OH MY GOD!!!!