Scorchy (1976)

Watchable enough vehicle for starlet Connie Stevens in which she plays Jackie Parker, an undercover detective determined to bust a dope smuggling ring. Among the sordid characters surrounding her are Philip (Cesare Danova) and Claudia Bianco (Marlene Schmidt, the directors' wife), and creepy goons Carl (William Smith) and Nicky (John Davis Chandler).Unfortunately, this viewer should disclose the fact that he watched the edited for TV version. Therefore, some of the apparently best stuff is nowhere to be seen. That would have added a little spice to what is a mostly unremarkable effort from writer / producer / director Howard Avedis, a busy filmmaker during the 1970s. However, two amusingly protracted chase scenes, one with Stevens going after Smith and one with her pursuing Danova, do make this worth a glance on a slow night. There's some very mild gore; one memorable sex scene ends with a guy getting harpooned in the back.Connie is passably charming in the main role, even if she doesn't make the most convincing cop in the world. It's up to her excellent supporting cast to do the heavy lifting. Danova is solid, but it's the always reliable, veteran screen villains Smith and Chandler who are the most fun to watch. Norman Burton plays Connies' boss; also appearing are Joyce Jameson, and stuntman Nick Dimitri (in a rare substantial acting role). Actor Greg Evigan makes his film debut playing likable stud Alan.This viewer must say that he did dig that unexpected and rather abrupt ending.EDIT: I've since seen the R-rated version on Blu-ray, and while the T & A in this version is appreciable, there's not really enough of it to make a big difference. Still, the movie remains fairly entertaining.Six out of 10.

Here we have a woman with layers.Sexy, sultry Connie Stevens can daylight as a cop and moonlight as a drug-smuggler as she thwarts an operation entailing heroin hidden in antiques imported from Greece to America, that is, when she's not swimming naked or bedding down Greg Evigan she's kicking ass and taking names: like Ceaser Danova, providing the top villain spot... although its William Smith as the menacing henchman she really contends with: especially during an incredible chase where, on a city street, she just happens upon a dune buggy with keys inside.Stevens is perfectly cast here; she's got all the juice to make this lemon shine. But despite the badness, this flick, like our heroine, really has it all: including a techno soundtrack that was either re-dubbed years later during the Miami Vice craze or, for better or worse, is very ahead of its time.And after a steamy sex scene turned deadly, Connie provides a screaming-pig's squeal that'd make Bill McKinney proud.

I had the misfortune of watching this movie that I picked up as a throw-in at a garage sale. I should have left it. The premise of the movie is believe it or not Connie Stevens as a crime fighter. Connie Stevens is totally miscast and totally unbelievable. Connie was only believable when she was taking off her clothes or making out with her boyfriend when she had to do acting well I have seen more range chili dipping wedge shots at my local golf range. When she tried to do action scenes running or handling weapons I was looking for her beautician and stylist to come and help her. When she handled a gun I was waiting for her to shoot herself in the foot. If this was a black comedy or a satire on action movie I may have given it a 3. Since the lowest rating is a one this is what I gave it. This is a movie that starlets make when they reach that certain age (Ms. Stevens in reality was never really a star any particular stature unless you look at who she married.) The movie did show her true range when she had her clothes off unfortunately since her voice and when she tried to act tough I literally had to pause the movie since I was laughing too hard. I only recommend this if you are truly wanting a step on the bizarre side.

Bargain-basement claptrap has female narcotics agent in Seattle about to blow the whistle on international heroin ring. Two well-directed action sequences (one involving a speed-buggy, the other a helicopter) saves this tacky flick from turkey status. Connie Stevens tries hard, but her girlish voice hasn't caught up with her body (most often she sounds like she's trying to be coquettish). Her hair is a marvel though: frosted wings that do most of her acting for her. Masochists will revel in one sequence which typifies the rest: as Connie's lover is grinding away, he is murdered and Stevens, realizing there's a dead man on top of her, opens her mouth as wide as she can and screams like Fay Wray; the killer comes into the room, hauls off and slaps Screaming Connie across the face like a cheap whore. It's almost as jaw-dropping as the Statement-Making finale, which is so self-important it goes beyond cheap laughs. * from ****