Martian Land (2015)

Don't waste a minute of your life watching this. One of the worst movies ever made.

Have made no secret in the past of intensely disliking, and even outright hating a lot, a vast majority of The Asylum's (near-universally maligned for good reason) output, though there is curiosity as to whether they are capable of making something good and compulsive about their output's badness. Admittedly, The Asylum do have a small group of watchable films and the occasional (big emphasis on that word) above average one, unfortunately outweighed by the lacklustre at best and often dreadful films they churn out.After seeing 'Martian Land', giving it a fair chance and trying to not let bias get the better of me, as much as it actually pains me to say it do agree with everybody else who not only found it an awful film but also one of The Asylum's worst. Very much the same as what was said about 'Alien Convergence' and a few other Asylum efforts seen recently. One of their most amateurish and intelligence-insulting certainly, all their trademark flaws are here in 'Martian Land'.Just for the record, giving a film the lowest possible rating is incredibly rare for me these days, trying to be a fair reviewer trying to see the good in everything viewed. That rating is only reserved for films etc. that look like no effort or heart was put into it and like nobody was trying, a cardinal sin in film but actually not committed all that often. 'Martian Land' is one of the worst examples of this in recent memory.Visually, 'Martian Land' looks incredibly cheap even for something made on a low budget. It's very drably and sometimes dizzyingly shot, incoherently edited (bacon-slicer-like) with glaring and unforgivably sloppy continuity errors and even the scenery doesn't make much impression despite being actually the least bad aspect of the film. Even worse are some of the most laughable and pathetic-looking special effects to be seen on celluloid, actually looking they were done as an afterthought and on the small remainder of the money they had left.Can remember little about the music, which tended to be intrusive, annoying and out of place. The dialogue is utter gibberish and truly juvenile and unnatural, even by The Asylum standards and even in their best efforts the script is one of the weaker assets. How it was approved beyond first draft, or suggesting ideas stage, is beyond comprehension.There is absolutely nothing thrilling, tense, suspenseful, emotionally investable or fun about the story. The predictability may have been forgivable if the film was actually engaging let alone exciting but it fails to be either throughout. Lets not get started on how insultingly nonsensical and ridiculous it is, things similarly are so vague and confused that coherence was also a major issue in places. The conflict had no urgency, imagination, fun or menace at all, it was all just dull and dumb.As sort of expected, as it is a trademark of The Asylum it seems, there are illogical and irritating character behaviours that makes one endear to them even less in a film with not one interesting or rootable character. There is not one halfway decent performance either, almost like they weren't even trying.Overall, awful with nothing redeeming about it, except that it is not quite as blatantly derivative as other Asylum efforts. 1/10 Bethany Cox

So, there are some great scenes and lighting and then all of the sudden two of the male leads are in tank tops and tee shirts, on mars. Are you serious, did they run out of money for wardrobe? The 3d modeling and compositing is pretty good, but it really looks like something from the knight rider days.Now, the acting, is absolutely tragic. I wonder often, who casts these people and how confusing it must have been to see so many bad actors line up that these are the best they could find. Is snakes on a plane worse or better than this? Every now and then these beautifully lit scenes that look like deadspace are ruined by soap opera lighting, and I can't figure out why. why? The inconsistency from pretty good to absolutely wretched is amazing. I think this video should be the 'oh my god i am in this' not 'my friend is a lead in this'.I hope this is fun, a joke like sharknado, because it is really bad.

This movie had about the same budget as any given old-school Power Rangers episode, but with worse acting and even worse special effects. I feel sorry for the creators of it, because they seriously lack talent at what they do. Asylum has a long history of shitty movies, and quite honestly, I don't how how they can afford to keep making garbage like this. All of the actors were disinterested in their roles, and you could almost read the "man this movie is crap, when do I get paid?" expression on their faces. As for the script itself...if you were to give a child a box of crayons and a handful of paint, I promise they could create a better script than this. It's truly embarrassing that this movie even passed the brainstorming stages.1/10