L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach (1998)

About all this movie has going for it are beautiful actors, both men and women, in various states of undress; beefcake, buns, and boobs in almost every scene.The plot, however, is thin even by Andy Sidaris standards. You can watch the movie with the sound off and get all of the benefit of this movie, and experience none of its painful dialogue.Watching this movie silent will not only leave you unaffected by the movie's nearly pointless plot exposition, it will let you fast-forward over several scenes of one of the most inventively annoying screenwriter's devices I have ever seen on film: a woman ad libs faux mystical horoscope babble into a radio microphone in order to narrate events of the plot she sees unfold on a TV screen. The crime fighting good guys in the movie listen in on this radio program and, amazingly, de-babblize our swimmy swami's jibber jabber into actionable intelligence.Are you getting this? The filmmakers have managed to turn the perfectly legitimate third-party omniscient storytelling viewpoint into a kind of RF modulated astral projection! Either that, or the good guys have got TV crews running all over the landscape surveilling the bad guys, yet this same highly-effective intelligence gathering organization must inexplicably call in a small pack of babes and studs to effect positive change in this world. WTF?!Even the gun play and gadgetry of this film are thin by Sidaris standards. This is the last film in the "Girls, Guns and G-Strings" collection; he's clearly phoning it in at this point.

This is one of legendary auteur Andy Sidaris' later efforts, and the cracks are beginning to show in his formula.The women who are the centrepiece of his films used to be somewhat enhanced, but by this point, they are positively deformed. It is a wonder they can stand up, let alone perform. The standard Sidaris squib shootout in the woods becomes even less believable than usual when your leading ladies can no longer hide behind a tree without something sticking out.The early pacing in the film is slow, and if you've been watching Andy's films in order, the action set-pieces look recycled.The female leads in this effort make you realise that previous Sidaris muses Dona Speir, Hope Marie Carlton and Roberta Vasquez, while not actually great actors, brought a ton more enthusiasm, effort and fun to their parts than the cast of 'Return to Savage Beach'. Julie Strain, in particular, recites her lines as if she'd rather be anywhere else.However, their male beefcake counterparts are dull enough to make the women look vaguely competent.The upsides? Gerald Okamura has fun with his brief screen time and Sidaris regular Rodrigo Obregon is very enjoyable, even channelling a bit of Gomez Addams when he dances with Carrie Westcott's character/breasts. So, not primo triple-G entertainment. You can find more enjoyment in earlier works like 'Hard Ticket', 'Do or Die' or a few others from this director. They have essentially the same ingredients, but are just better cooked.

A group of evil folks led by the nefarious Rodrigo Martinez (robustly essayed with lip-licking brio by Rodrigo Obregon) search for a hidden treasure trove on a remote Pacific island. It's up to a crack team of federal agents to stop them. Writer/director Andy Sidaris covers all the essential entertainingly silly'n'trashy bases one final time: abundant tasty gratuitous distaff nudity, huge splashy explosions, sizzling soft-core sex scenes, an amusing sense of self-mocking campy humor, maladroitly staged action set pieces (the karate fights in particular are hilariously inept), funky gadgets, a swinging "Goldfinger"-type theme song, and globe-trotting locations. Naturally, a bevy of beautiful babes are on hand to further heat things up: magnificently statuesque Amazonian goddess Julie Strain as brash leader Willow Black, busty blonde Julie K. Smith as the sassy Cobra (who works undercover as a stripper!), the insanely bosomy Shae Marks as Tiger, blonde bombshell Carrie Westcott as Rodrigo's foxy hench wench Sofia, Ava Cadell as sultry-voiced disc jockey Ava, and Carolyn Liu as the slinky Silk. The rest of the cast likewise have fun with the blithely inane material: Marcus Bagwell as reformed former baddie Warrior, Cristian Letelier as the amiable J. Tyler Wood, Paul Logan as the equally likable Doc Austin, and Gerald Okamura as ace martial artist Fu. Howard Wexler's glossy cinematography gives this picture an attractive bright look. Ron Di Iulio's lively score hits the stirring spot. A worthy closer to both Sidaris' cinematic career and this enjoyable series.

Gosh, this movie is all about breast and being...sexy? Gorgeous women with giant breasts , good looking men with hunky looks, many explosions, many shoots and guns, but what the heck! we are sexy let's get it on now, that's the movie all about, another excuse to try to make a porn movie without hard core sex.I was actually expecting for a good sex scene because the storyline was really poor and the ladies and her male companions were really hot all the time so ...lets wait for something then...But, nothing happened, just more shoots , more sexy bodysuits, and a good excuse to wake up my partner and have a little fun. This movie is a holy crap, if you look for action, please watch something else, if you look for sex please watch something else too is very disappointing, actually very sad.