Teenage Zombies (1959)

Yet another masterpiece from that ever reliable Jerry Warren, "Teenage Zombies" tells of two young studs, Regg (Don Sullivan, "The Giant Gila Monster") and Skip (Paul Pepper) and their two girlfriends Julie and Pam (Mitzie Albertson and Brianne Murphy). For kicks, they like to go water skiing. They end up marooned on an isolated island, held captive by mad scientist Dr. Myra (Katherine Victor), who's conducting experiments in making mindless slaves out of humans.Although one of Warrens' better efforts, relatively speaking, this is still bad enough to induce some hearty chuckles. Good atmosphere regularly competes with a sometimes dull and plodding pace, and a script with more talk than action. Among the delights on display are a wild gorilla (Mitch Evans) and a hulking, blank eyed henchman named Ivan (towering Chuck Niles, who's an absolute hoot). Since Dr. Myra is being bankrolled by enemies of the state, this allows for some intrigue as part of the scenario - but don't expect very much in the way of actual "teenage zombies".The acting in this sort of fare may never have been destined to pick up lots of awards, but it's sincere enough to get the job done. Regg and Skip are strapping heroes who engage in scuffles and fisticuffs with the bad guys, while Julie and Pam aren't required to do much. Victor, who was a Warren regular, is pretty amusing as the aloof, evening gown wearing Dr. Frankenstein wannabe. Mike Concannon is good as the local Sheriff who has a twist in store for all of us.Must viewing if you totally dig the groovy and cheap side of 50s sci-fi cinema.Five out of 10.

Despite the advent of Elvis Presley and the birth of rock and roll, the mid-1950s still proved to be a tough time for the American teenager...at least, on the big screen. From the juvenile delinquents in 1955's "The Blackboard Jungle" and the angst-ridden James Dean in the same year's "Rebel Without a Cause," to the punks in Roger Corman's "Teenage Doll" (1957) and the dopers in 1958's "High School Confidential!," theater goers in the middle of that decade were treated to a variety of troublesome predicaments befalling the nation's youth. But all those cinematic problems pall when compared to the even more horrible happenings that teens were subjected to in the horror films of the day. In 1957, audiences were treated to a teenage werewolf ("I Was a Teenage Werewolf") and a teenage Frankenstein ("I Was a Teenage Frankenstein"); the following year, they saw a teenage monster ("Teenage Monster") and even, in 1959, troubled teenagers from outer space (you guessed it..."Teenagers From Outer Space"). Perhaps casting about for some new and horrible ordeal to subject a gaggle of American youths to, producer/director Jerry Warren hit upon the idea of teenage zombies, for his truly stupefying shlockfest, uh, "Teenage Zombies." This film, though shot in '57, would have to wait another two years for its big-screen release, and has been leaving viewers slack jawed and giggly ever since.In the film, two teen couples, Reg (Don Sullivan, who some may recall from 1959's "The Giant Gila Monster") & Julie and Skip & Pam, decide to go water-skiing on a large lake (the locale of the picture is never hinted at) and fetch up on the supposedly deserted Mullet Island. Oh...as a certain Wiki site has astutely pointed out, we never see the teens actually skiing, and come to think of it, we never even see skis; the teens are certainly NOT dressed for water sports. Once on the island, our quartet runs afoul of middle-aged harridan Dr. Myra (Katherine Victor), who is attempting to fabricate 5,000 capsules of a gas (for an unnamed "Eastern power") that will--when put into the nation's water supply--turn our good citizens into mindless automatons! With the aid of the already zombified Ivan--a lumbering, hunchbacked, bearded doofus who is actually more brain wiped than a classic zombie--Myra imprisons the four kids for later use as human guinea pigs. Fortunately for them, their two intrepid pals, Morrie & Dotty, have come looking for them in their own boat, along with the local sheriff....I'm going to try hard to say something nice about this film, as I always endeavor to do. First, the viewer does not have to wait very long for the film to get going. After just two minutes of getting to know our six teens in the village malt shop, we are setting foot on Myra's island, and observing a group of brain-dead servants in the field. With a running time of just 73 minutes, the film is certainly compact, and does move along at a decent clip. Also...well, I suppose that's about it, for the positives. On the negative side, "Teenage Zombies" features acting, directing and sets that are all rock-bottom deplorable. The film looks as if it cost around $300 to make (but probably cost twice as much!), and the kids are, sadly, a rather undifferentiated bunch. Jerry Warren, who also wrote the screenplay for this epic, besides producing and directing, reveals himself to be a genuine "triple threat" here...a threat to your sanity, that is; he had previously flabbergasted audiences with such outings as "Man Beast" (1955) and "The Incredible Petrified World" (1957). The film also dishes out what might be the phoniest-looking shooting in film history, as the sheriff gets his; the most hilarious fisticuffs melee ever shown, as our teens scuffle around on the floor with Myra and two of her conspirators; AND the unusual concept of a female mad scientist (offhand, I can think of no other film except for 1966's "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" to feature a distaff crackpot of this order). So yes, despite the general inanity of the proceedings and the ineptitude of the filmmakers, an entertaining time CAN be had here, for those in a silly mood (and for those bolstered with something a little more potent than malted milkshakes!). Still, I am certainly in no rush to seek out Warren's semiremake of this film, 1981's "Frankenstein Island" (also starring Katherine Victor!), which, as word on the street would have it, is even more of a labor to get through than the original!A final comment as to the DVD that "Teenage Zombies" currently appears on: It is yet another DVD from those perpetual underachievers at Alpha Video. This outfit has a catalog of hundreds of oddball films that have lapsed into the public domain, all of which the company makes available at very reasonable prices but with zero attempt at restoration or pretenses of quality. Thus, this disc features a battered-looking print with lousy sound, but at least a crisp-enough-looking B&W image; I've certainly seen a lot worse from this outfit. And really, if you want to see a zombified gorilla tussle with an Eastern spy, where ELSE are you gonna go?!?!

Before I get started I would just like to say that this is not the worst low-budget zombie movie I have ever seen. Having said that though, I must admit that it's still pretty bad just the same. At any rate, the general plot involves 4 high school kids who decide to hang out on an isolated island not realizing that there are some people from "the East" (Communist China presumably) conducting experiments and needing live human subjects to continue their research. Apparently their intention is to release a chemical into the United States which will turn a large percentage of the people into obedient zombies. Naturally, the kids get captured and since they don't return, two of their friends get worried and go to the island to see what has happened to them. Now, since I don't want to ruin the film for those who haven't seen it I won't reveal what happens next. I will say however that the acting wasn't that good, the script was weak and the plot was so dull that at times I thought I was watching a segment of "Leave It to Beaver". Now that's pretty dull. Truth be told, about the only good thing going for this film was the cute blonde named "Julie" (Mitzie Albertson). But that's about it. In short, unless a person really enjoys films from the late 50's I would avoid this one altogether.

Earlier today I accidentally viewed on the internet a man being decapitated via chainsaw. After viewing Teenage Zombies hours later I have come to the conclusion I would very much like to be that man in the video.I figured to myself- "Well hey, here's a 1950's film entitled 'Teenage Zombies'. Perhaps it will subtly play on American angst towards youth and family values, maybe even a little nod towards gender issues in post war America, hell this film could be Rebel without a Cause but with Zombies!"... How wrong I was. What we actually have in this film is acting filled with more wood than a pornstar's pants, a plot so obviously about American fears of the soviets it loses all effect and one zombie, who is called Ivan, a middle aged brainless slave, dumb but strong, perving on the American female who yes, they called Ivan, subtly done Jerry. DOWN WITH COMMUNISM!All in all, I could say so much about this film, I actually find it a little sad that the kids in this movie probably considered it their big break, when in reality most of them never acted again. I'll close by saying this; if you're drunk, drugged off your tits, or maybe even if you hate yourself and can't find a razor blade, watch this film. If you're none of these things, please, just don't.